Will you miss me?
Date :
Monday, April 20 2009
Source:
Kim Lamb, Child Care Finder
The sun is shining. The birds are singing. It’s the start of a wonderful day. As you reach the driveway of your child’s caregiver, you begin to dread the next fifteen minutes. You know that your toddler will start clinging to you the moment he leaves his car seat. As you approach the front door the tears begin – yours’, not your toddler’s.
Miss Suzy smiles and welcomes you into her home. The other children are smiling and laughing as they eat their waffles. Your son is just fine until you take off his coat. He is now screaming and hanging onto your leg. Oh my, the stress is overwhelming! Why has this time of the day become such a challenge?
From a child’s first birthday onward, the toddler is developing in leaps and bounds. During this stage of development, he may still be cautious around strangers. If a toddler is used to a specific routine at a caregiver’s home or center, and that routine changes in any way, he will react to the change. The more the environment is like a familiar setting, the easier it is for a toddler to adapt.
The key point to remember is that your toddler can adapt to change. This is one of the amazing milestones in his development. Just as when your child was an infant, investing time in the transition process will result in a rewarding goodbye kiss, rather than a tearful exit.
Toddlers are always on the move exploring their world. And this works to a parent’s advantage. When you bring your child to his caregiver, include a favorite bear, blanket or other loved item. Help your child put his coat away. Give the caregiver the stuffed bear. She may create a game with bear to engage your toddler, while you kiss him goodbye and leave for work.
Young children can easily adapt to new settings when they know what to expect. With your child’s caregiver, you can:
- Establish a goodbye routine. Repeat this routine daily.
- Reassure your toddler that you will return after work, or perhaps after a nap, to pick him up. Keep your promise.
- Engage your toddler in the activities that other children are doing.
- Be consistent with your routine when possible. Since change can be necessary, prepare your toddler by speaking with him about the change.
- When possible arrange to meet the caregiver and explore the new environment before it becomes necessary to leave your toddler all day.
And now, word of caution. Avoid sneaking out while your child is engaged without saying goodbye. This violates your child’s trust and will only make him more fearful when you are out of sight. Be sure to say goodbye with a hug, a kiss or a few words of encouragement before you leave. When your toddler knows what to expect, goodbyes will be less difficult.
If separation anxiety lasts for a prolonged period of time, speak with your caregiver about ways to ease transitions. You are the best judge when it comes to your child’s well being. Let your instincts guide you. If you feel that a different child care environment would best meet your child’s needs, investigate other child care options.