Assure quality care for preschoolers by teaching them respect
Date :
Tuesday, August 25 2009
Source:
Autourina Mains
In today’s world our children are bombarded with negative and disrespectful messages from media. From advertisement portraying parents as incompetent to sit comes and movies, our children receive negative messages. It is the job of primary care providers, parents, grandparent, and all adults in the child’s life to help them learn the most essential social skill of having respect for themselves as well as others.
Though preschoolers have more advanced language skills than toddlers, they still need some of the language building strategies to help them express themselves. Asking why questions with preschoolers will help you get to the core of the issues. I have a preschooler that still needs to nap per parent’s request; however, he refuses to go down for nap. He and I went to my office where it’s quiet and he sat on his favorite Sponge Bob couch to have a quiet chat. When I asked him why he did not want to nap, he replied “I am not a baby and I don’t need nap.” I explained to him that mom says he falls asleep in the car on the way home and doesn’t even get to stay up and play at night. We thought about a couple of options one of which was for him to lie down for rest time and read his favorite books. He said “What if I fall asleep?” I replied “How about if we get an alarm clock and wake you up, so that you can have some time to play before mom picks you up?” He liked the new clock we bought and liked being able to set the alarm. We have no trouble napping now since he played a role in making decisions on how he naps.
Respecting preschoolers is:
- Asking why questions to get to the core of what is going on.
- Helping the child put words to feelings.
- Include the child in rule setting for your home or program. For example: call a meeting and say “We need to set some rules. Should we run inside? If no, then why? What are the consequences of breaking this rule?” Write down the rules on a poster board and display them.
- Set consequences, not punishments. Children make mistakes and forget “our” rules. Their first priority is to play and have fun, not follow rules, so when they break a rule or are having a bad day, don’t punish them. Instead of using a “time out” chair or making them stand by the wall, create a quiet area where the child can have some quiet time to think and gather his/her thoughts and decide to make good, positive choices.
- Have a daily schedule.
- Listen to the child when the child is speaking (be present and aware) and ask questions.
- Allow the child to finish their task or project or give them an option to finish it at a later time.
- Give transition warnings and allow ample time for transitioning from one task to another.
- Give the child genuine, positive feedback. When you see a child helping a friend with clean up, you can say “It is nice how you are helping your friend. You are a good friend.”
- Assign simple chores. Everyone likes to feel useful and assigning simple chores like setting the dishes on the table for meal time, wiping the table after meals, folding laundry, feeding the dog, turning off the TV, getting diapers for the baby, etc. helps the child feel good about his/her ability to help others.
- Honor your promises. Sometimes my children had a difficult time waking up early on Ash Wednesday to be in church by 7 am. The night before, I promised them breakfast at a local café. Even though they were late for school on Ash Wednesday, I kept my promise to them and took them out to breakfast after lunch.
- When you are feeling angry or sick or frustrated, let the child know “I don’t feel well today. I have a bad head ache, I am very angry today, I am tired, etc.”
By following these simple strategies the adult models respectful behavior and provides quality child care. As the old cliché goes “Children do what they see not what they are told.”